Some­one asked for this recipe. It orig­i­nally came out of my head, but I think this is close!

Ingre­di­ents

• 4 cups chicken broth
• 2 cups water
• 2 cans (13 oz. each) chicken breast meat
• 1 pack­age boil-in-bag whole-grain brown rice (I used Suc­cess 10-Minute)
• 1 packet dry onion soup mix (I used Lip­ton Recipe Secrets Golden Onion)
• 1 can sweet corn
• Other Spices*
• 1/2 tea­spoon salt
• 1/2 tea­spoon ground black pepper
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup butter
• 2 cups milk
• 3/4 cup shred­ded moz­zarella cheese

Instruc­tions

1. Drain the chicken. Pull/cut into small bits.
2. In a large pot over medium heat, com­bine broth, water, chicken, and onion soup. Bring to a boil, then stir in rice (not in its boil­ing bag!). Reduce heat to a low boil for ten min­utes, then simmer.
3. In the mean­time, in a small bowl com­bine salt, pep­per and flour.
4. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, melt but­ter. Stir in Other Spices until mix­ture is bubbly.
5. Reduce heat to low, then stir in flour mix­ture by table­spoons, to form a roux. Whisk in cream, a lit­tle at a time, until fully incor­po­rated and smooth. Whisk­ing con­stantly, cook until thick­ened, about 5 minutes.
6. Stir cream mix­ture into broth and rice. Add corn and cheese; stir. Cook over medium heat until heated through, at least 10 to 15 minutes.

* Other Spices: A finely chopped/smushed gar­lic clove and a lit­tle basil. A pinch of mar­jo­ram and another of thyme. I threw in a light sprin­kle of Spike sea­son­ing just for fun (Spike has sev­eral pow­dered fruit peels that work great with chicken).

This goes in the same Weirdly Yummy File as the apple chipo­tle que­sadil­las. Can’t explain how these tastes work together, but they are awfully good.

Turkey breast ten­der­loins are becom­ing fairly com­mon here and decently priced. The trick to writ­ing an accu­rate recipe now is that I used one that was already mar­i­nated and sea­soned, labeled as “Gar­lic and Pep­per­corn,” acquired from that bas­tion of fine cui­sine Aldi’s. I’m going to write direc­tions as if it had been plain; obvi­ously, your mileage will vary.

1. Mar­i­nate ten­der­loin in … some­thing, for at least 8 hours. I’d start with a mix of apple juice and worces­ter­shire sauce.
2. Rub on gar­lic salt and ground pepper.
3. Spray a crock pot with non-stick cook­ing spray.
4. Chop a medium onion and place it in the bot­tom. Large chunks are fine — doesn’t need to be diced.
5. Place the ten­der­loin on the onions.
6. Add 1 cup apple cider or juice.
7. Add 1 can coconut milk and mix well.
8. Add 1 can Coco Goya cream of coconut and mix well.
9. Add 1/2 cup golden raisins.
10. Cook for 3 hours on high or 6–7 hours on low.

To make an easy coconut gravy, use South­east­ern Mills Old Fash­ioned Pep­pered Gravy Mix or sim­i­lar white gravy mix that calls for added liq­uid. In the case of this par­tic­u­lar brand, it calls for one cup of boil­ing water. Instead, use one cup of strained crock pot liquid.

It pretty much amounts to insan­ity. I really don’t under­stand why it tastes good. Here in the US we typ­i­cally eat coconut only in sweet foods, and the idea of using it in a savory dish is just plain weird. But it works and is deli­cious. Go figure.

More than a lit­tle cheat­ing, but they sure don’t taste like it.

INGREDIENTS

• 3 table­spoons butter
• 1 can apple pie filling
• 1 table­spoon vanilla
• 1 tea­spoon ground cinnamon
• big pinch of mace
• 1 can of 8 refrig­er­ated jumbo flaky biscuits
• 2 table­spoons water
• oil
• Pow­dered sugar (or gran­u­lated sugar, or sugar/cinnamon, or a nice glaze)

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat 2″ of oil to 350F in a large pot.
2. Melt the but­ter in a skil­let over medium heat. Add the pie fill­ing; chop the apples into small pieces.
3. Add the cin­na­mon and mace. Mix well and cook for 10 minutes.
4. Roll or squish out a bis­cuit to an 8″ bis­cuit. If it doesn’t get that large, the dough will be too thick to cook through.
5. Put 1/8^th of the fill­ing on half the bis­cuit, leav­ing a strip around the edge uncovered.
6. Dip your fin­ger in the water and apply to the edge of the bis­cuit; fold over and use a fork to seal the edges.
7. Put the pie in the oil. Turn as nec­es­sary to cook evenly. Remove when golden brown.
8. Imme­di­ately sprin­kle on pow­dered sugar, roll in gran­u­lated sugar or a sugar/cinnamon mix, or pour on a glaze.
9. Repeat for the rest of the biscuits. Enjoy!

BETTER VERSIONS

1. Replace the pie fill­ing with some­thing bet­ter. Mix the fruit of your choice — even a large can of peaches (drained) will work — with 1/4 cup each of white and brown sugar, the but­ter, vanilla, and spices, then cook for 15 min­utes. If the liq­uids are too thin, mix a heap­ing table­spoon of corn starch in a few table­spoons of water until smooth, and mix in.
2. Replace the bis­cuits with some­thing bet­ter — like this French Pas­try Pie Dough. It’s rel­a­tively fast and easy and very, very good.